| Years ago my husband and I attended a
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| | they return
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| parenting
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| | them damaged, dirty or in poor working
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| class and one thing that stands out in
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| | condition.
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| my mind from
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| | Again, who wants to loan something to
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| that course was something very
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| | someone like
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| simplistic that the
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| | that? I suspect not you and I know, not
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| trainer said. He asked the question,
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| | me! So don't
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| "If your kid
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| | make your child do that with his items
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| doesn't like broccoli, what should you
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| | either!On the other hand, if you have a
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| do?"I thought for a minute while he
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| | friend that borrows
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| paused and the first
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| | things and returns them in a timely
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| thought that came to me was, do my kids
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| | manner, in the
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| even like
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| | condition in which you leant them, well
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| broccoli? Hmmmmm.Then in a loud voice
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| | then you are
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| the trainer enthusiastically
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| | more likely to "share" your things with
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| said, "You should feed him MORE
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| | this person,
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| broccoli, that's what!"
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| | right? Explain this concept to your
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| The reason this lesson stands out in my
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| | child using simple
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| mind so clearly
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| | words. Ask your child if he thinks the
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| years later is because I have used it
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| | playmate takes
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| over and over in
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| | good care of his or her toys. Talk to
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| making my parenting decisions. I have
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| | them and get
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| gone back and
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| | them thinking about it. If the playmate
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| pondered it again and again. Why? This
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| | is too rough,
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| one simple
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| | don't make your child share with him.The
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| concept has become a principle to me in
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| | next step is listening. TO YOURSELF!
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| my parenting
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| | After you have made yourself aware of
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| skills.If your child doesn't want to do
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| | the playmates
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| something, at times,
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| | behavior, the next thing is to use words
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| it is appropriate to make him do it.
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| | that children
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| Those of you that
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| | understand. When an adult uses the word
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| know me personally know that I strive to
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| | "share" in
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| allow my
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| | terms of food, the child sees you rip a
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| children to make decisions for
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| | cookie in half
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| themselves and at times
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| | and give some to someone else. Whoa!
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| they make wrong and unwise choices. The
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| | Next, you pick
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| goal is to
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| | up the child's doll and say, I want you
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| have them learn from those poor choices.
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| | to "share" your
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| I don't
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| | doll with your friend. Yikes! The kid
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| believe in forcing them to do things
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| | half expects you
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| such as eating all
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| | to rip the doll's arms off. Adults
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| of their dinner, wearing their hair a
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| | sometimes don't realize
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| certain way or
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| | the power of their words on a child.
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| perhaps wearing shoes they hate. You do
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| | Listen to yourself!What I would suggest
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| have to
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| | is for you to use the
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| balance things and encourage your
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| | word "share" only when you are dealing
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| children to grow
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| | with food
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| emotionally and behaviorally to become
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| | because that is really what you are
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| good citizens.
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| | asking your child to
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| You do that by exposing them and
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| | do, give a little of what they have to
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| influencing them to
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| | someone else.When you are dealing with
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| attempt new things that they may not
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| | toys and objects you might
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| want to do. In
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| | say, "Let's allow your friend have a
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| other words, there are always things in
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| | turn playing with
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| life that we
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| | your toy now, okay?". This is more
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| must do, even if we don't want to. We
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| | understandable to
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| have to go to
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| | the child and they will not envision you
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| work. We have to go to school. We have
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| | ripping their toy
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| to obey the
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| | in half.After saying everything just
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| laws of the land.Now, lets apply this to
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| | right, you may still find
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| getting your children to share
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| | that you have a child that won't share
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| with others. If you have a child that
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| | or take turns!
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| will not share their
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| | What then? Well, that is when I go back
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| toys and you indulge that behavior by
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| | to the
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| allowing it, well,
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| | phrase, "If they don't like broccoli,
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| subliminally, you are telling the child
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| | feed them more
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| that you agree
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| | broccoli!" In other words, MAKE them
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| with him and he really doesn't have to
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| | share. How can
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| share his toys.
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| | you make them? Simple, you can do this
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| Sharing is something that a child must
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| | by
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| be taught.
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| | saying, "You must take turns with your
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| There is a healthy way to teach your
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| | toys and if you
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| child to share and
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| | don't, mommy or daddy will take the toy
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| you might be surprised to know that I
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| | and put it
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| don't think you
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| | away from you until you decide to give
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| should always make your child share with
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| | others a turn
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| others.
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| | playing with it." I know, you are
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| There is a step-by-step process that you
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| | thinking, wow, that is
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| can follow to
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| | tough, right? Yup, anything that your
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| get your child to share.The first step
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| | child is so
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| is awareness.Are you aware of what is
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| | attached to that they won't allow anyone
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| going on with your child's
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| | else near it,
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| playmates? As the adult, make yourself
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| | is too much of an attachment. It is an
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| aware of what
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| | attitude of total
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| is going on when playmates come around.
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| | selfishness and you need to discourage
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| Listen to
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| | it.You don't need to torture the child
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| them playing. Your child may not want
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| | and keep
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| to share for
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| | threatening to take the toy. (Click the
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| fear of losing a favorite toy or for
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| | link in this
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| fear that his favorite
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| | newsletter to read about threatening
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| toy will get broken or scribbled on. Pay
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| | repeating). Just
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| attention and
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| | like the Nike commercial says. Just do
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| see if your child has a friend that is
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| | it! Do it very
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| too wild with toys
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| | logically and calmly after telling the
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| and often breaks them, or maybe a
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| | child ONE time only.
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| playmate tends
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| | If the child has a fit and asks where
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| to "accidentally" take things home with
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| | the toys is, explain
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| him and not
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| | to them that it is safe and that you
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| bring them back, or maybe they even have
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| | have put it away
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| a tendency
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| | until they were willing to allow others
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| to color on toys? If this is the case,
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| | a turn. Do not
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| then you
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| | give in, no matter what! When the child
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| shouldn't make your child share with a
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| | agrees to allow
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| playmate like
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| | others a turn, give the item back to
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| that! You may even encourage your child
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| | him. Empower
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| to put his
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| | your child with control of the timeframe
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| favorite toys up when that particular
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| | in which he
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| playmate comes
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| | gets the item back. Each child is
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| over. Or better yet, reevaluate who
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| | different and one child
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| your child is
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| | might decide to share immediately and
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| playing with!The next step would be to
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| | another child will
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| think of yourself.
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| | decide to take turns only after a
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| If you have an irresponsible friend that
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| | week.My final words to you are this,
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| borrows your
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| | remember, being a
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| lawn tools and leaves them out in the
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| | parent is challenging work! Stay focused
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| yard to get
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| | on your
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| ruined, you probably don't want to loan
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| | parenting plan, turn on the creative
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| him anything do
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| | portion of your
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| you? This is usually the same friend
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| | brain and then? OUTSMART THE LITTLE
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| that is constantly
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| | BOOGERS! It is
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| wanting to borrow many of your items,
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| | the only way!Michelle Shelton and her
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| probably
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| | husband Paul live in Gilbert, Arizona
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| because he ruined his own already,
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| | with their five children. Michelle is a
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| right? Perhaps you
| |
| | full time licensed Real Estate Agent for
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| have a friend or family member that
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| | Keller Williams Realty Southeast Valley.
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| doesn't return
| |
| | She specializes in Arizona Horse
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| things when they borrow them or maybe
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| | Property.
|
