Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 72) - Bank Balance? What Bank Balance?

Today, was a funny day.  The boss came intoget you that balance, but I'm in so much pain."
my office, and he had this look on his face.  ItHe stiffened, as if I'd slapped him, and quickly
was a look like, I'm gonna get answers - nocame to his feet.  Then, his face turned red so
matter what.fast, I thought steam would shoot out of his ears.
Pasting an innocent expression on my face, I"You're hurting that much?" he asked, inching
quickly hid the Mafia Wars game on my computertoward the door.
screen and turned my full attention to him. I whimpered and nodded.  I wanted to drive it
"What's up, Boss?" I asked.home with a  few tears - just to see if I could
"Hey, Betty.  I was just wondering - how muchget sweat to break out on his balding forehead -
money do we have in the checking account rightbut I've never been good at making myself cry. 
now?"So instead, I did the whole wobbly chin thing.
Oh Crap, I thought.  He's not catching on to me,"You know what - you're busy," he told me, from
is he? "Why do you ask?"the hallway now.  "I can get it another time. 
"Well, I was checking out the iPads online, and IJust let me know the balance when you can." 
was thinking I wanted to get one of the onesAnd with that, he turned on one heel and
with 3G--"practically sprinted away.
You and Me both!I was hard-pressed not to start laughing out
"--But I don't want to have to finance it.  Iloud.  But I realized a hard truth.  Men will always
figured maybe we could pay cash for it.  So, Irun when it comes to PMS and tears.
was just wondering what our bank balance was."I will definitely remember that next time.
Heck if I know.What Any Business Owner Has the Right to
Okay, maybe I do know, but I can't tell him theExpect From Their Bookkeeper:
real balance. "I'll have to get back to you on thatI know a lot of bookkeepers may get mad at me
one," I told him.for saying this, but in my opinion, when a business
He looked around at the large piles of paperworkowner asks "What is my bank balance?" the
on my desk, his face twisting with irritation.  "Youbookkeeper should be able to answer fairly
can't just pull up some report and tell me?"  Itquickly.  A good bookkeeper will be doing the
was obvious he didn't like my carefully gatheredbank reconciliations regularly - as in, within a week
piles of paperwork, but I had to look busy.of receiving the bank statements.  And even if
"It's not that easy," I lied.  "I have so muchthey don't have an exact balance because there
work, it's going to take me a while to get you anare checks and debits outstanding, they should still
accurate balance."be able to estimate fairly accurately what the
"I can wait," he said, leaning against the table incurrent balance is.  If they can't tell you the
my office.balance - or estimate it - or if they say it will take
It was then, I knew... I would have to pull out thea couple days to do the bank reconciliation, take
big guns to get him to drop the subject.this as a warning sign.  The Bank Register is one
Grabbing my stomach, I grunted and shifted inof the most important things a bookkeeper
my seat.manages, and they should be on top of it. 
"You okay?" he asked.Personally, it has never taken me longer than an
I waved a hand nonchalantly.  "Oh, sure.  I'mhour to do a bank reconciliation, and that's with
fine.  It's just... I'm cramping.  I'm PMS'ing rightentering checks.
now, and my stomach is really hurting.  I want to