The (not so) Naked City

How many of you have ever been to Timescity passed an ordinance in 2001 to close the
Square in New York? Not for Dick Clark and theloophole posed by the "adult business" description.
whole New Year's Eve thing, nor for the DisneyAnd an appellate court in New York state recently
scene. I'm talking about for the porn shops, peep(earlier this month) upheld the new definition of
show booths, and what have you. If you haven't,what an adult-themed enterprise was. You'll find
you might want to go now before just about allthe new definition at along with more of the
of them disappear.story. The bottom line is, unless this ruling of the
In 1995, New York City passed a zoning law thatappellate court is overturned, a lot of sex shops
restricted adult businesses to commercial andwill suddenly be found to be in contempt of the
manufacturing districts - in essence, non-residentialzoning law.
zones. Even within the commercial andI have a somewhat tongue-in-cheek question: In a
manufacturing districts, there were statutes forcity of over eight million within an approximate
the placement of such adult businesses. For300 sq. mi. area, what isn't a residential
example, they couldn't exist within 500 feet of aneighborhood? Granted, I'm not the first person
church, nor within 500 of a school, nor within 500to ever hold this view.
feet of each other. It seems, though, that manyBut (somewhat) seriously, I'd always considered
enterprises in certain areas such as Times SquareTimes Square one of the great porn meccas in
and Greenwich Village were able to escape thethe world; possibly the greatest on the eastern
"adult business" moniker. A business would haveseaboard. If you're a porn aficionado like I am,
to showcase at least a 40% inventory stock ofand you live in the mid-Atlantic region on the east
adult material to be labeled as an adult enterprise.coast, you make your pilgrimage to New York. If
Therefore, a lot of businesses were able to skateyou live on the left coast, you make your way to
by in largely residential neighborhoods by stockingThe Valley. If you live in Europe, you call on the
39% or less sexual material. Even if a sex shopRed Light District in Amsterdam.
derived the bulk of its revenue from sex tapes,Now, the porn shrine in the Square is no more.
peep show booths, etc., legally they were well(*with mock dramatic intensity, one fist raised to
within their rights to exist in those places. Well, thethe sky*) Damn you, Mickey Mouse, damn you!